Today, I was contacted by a fellow animal rescue volunteer and she thought I may be able to help with a situation that was eerily similar to that of  ”John” and Sweet Pea.  Of course, I was ready to help.  Another volunteer had been contacted to help find a home for 2 dogs who were in a desperate situation.  When that volunteer asked for more information, she found out heartbreaking news.

The call was from a man who could no longer take care of his dogs.  He was finding the situation difficult because the 2 dogs are living in a car with him, his wife and 2 children.  The family had been trying desperately to get help out of their problem but every where they turned, they were refused.  The wife has a job but she barely makes any money.  Sadly, the small amount of money that she makes was considered too much for conventional assistance.  After having nowhere to turn, the family has been living in their car.  They’ve had money for food and gas but not enough to afford a place for them.  They had asked for someone to at least save the dogs for them until they could get on their feet.

The dad has a job that starts on March 1st.  I am just trying to keep them out of their car for a few weeks.  If you would be willing to donate towards their hotel stay or towards food or gas, please contact me at darathrene@gmail.com or you can donate funds via the ChipIn at http://darath.chipin.com/northland-family .

Heidi came in to my life back in the middle of January.  I heard about her from a post in my rescue Group on Facebook.  Someone had posted and said that Heidi and her 9 puppies would be put to sleep if they did not secure rescue by noon that day.  Heidi and her pups were not doing well in the shelter and they were showing signs of illness.  The other big problem (which I found out later) was the fact that Heidi was a wild dog.  The city had been trying to catch her for 2 years as she run “at large” through Kansas City.  When I heard the news, I jumped in with both feet and a very sentimental heart and I wanted to help.  I called my vets office and asked if they would take Heidi and her 9 puppies in and they agreed to help.  I posted back in my group that I had secured boarding if someone could pull her under their rescue.  That’s when things got really crazy.  The management of the shelter was very reluctant to let Heidi and the puppies go because of the possible danger of spreading illness and the fact that Heidi hadn’t done so well when it came to showing what type of dog she was.  Well, she showed people something and it wasn’t what I learned about her in the coming weeks.

Heidi was transferred to my vets office and the plan was for her to be boarded for a few days and then her and the puppies would be transferred to a foster home.  Destiny had other plans.  Within a day, Heidi’s health took a turn for the worst and we were losing her.  In an effort to save her, the vet’s office took the puppies away and placed them in cages above Heidi.  We worked very hard to save her and while we were doing that, the puppies started becoming sick.  One by one, the pups would start coughing and sneezing.  The staff at the veterinarian’s office stepped up and split the puppies in to pairs and took them home so they had 24 hour care.  Instantly, the ladies became full-time mothers, with everything that comes with it.  If they decide to have children now, we’ll see!

In the coming days, one by one, the babies left this earth to go and romp at the Rainbow Bridge.  I’ve heard it’s an amazing place but really, I wish they hadn’t of left.  Each day after work, I would drive to the vet’s office and sit next to Heidi’s cage and encourage her with love and boiled chicken.  She wasn’t big on being touched in the beginning but I guess I grew on her like a fungus.  As time passed, she became more and more willing to interact with me.

After 2 1/2 weeks, Heidi recovered and was ready to leave the vet’s office.  When her tests results came back, it was overwhelming what this dog fought to stay alive.  Heidi had tested positive for Mycoplasma, Adenovirus, Canine Herpes and Parainfluenza.  Alone, they are terrible diseases but to combine all of them together, it’s a miracle that she survived.

I decided to take Heidi home with me because I thought she would have the best chance of learning with someone she already knew.  I felt like she trusted me and I knew that would be a big hurdle in teaching her how to live among people.  That first day, we carried her to my car and she shook so bad I thought she was having a seizure.  She was so scared that when we got home, Heidi actually commando crawled from my garage, though the downstairs living room and into my teenager’s room.  Once she spotted his bed, she jumped on it and that is where she stayed for a few days.  Gradually, I introduced new things to her and ever since I have seen her personality shine.

That dog that was never supposed to be alive, learned how to really “live” and she taught me how I am supposed to live, too.

There are those quiet moments when I am standing outside and begging and pleading with her to make a poop.  I look to the heavens in an attempt to seek out those 9 babies at the Rainbow Bridge so I can ask them for a little help.  While they typically ignore my pleas, I did get to notice how amazing the stars are on a cool, clear night.

I’ve learned patience… or at least how to fake it.  Crating Heidi has been like trying to get an old man’s balls to not pop out of his shorts.  Every time you push one back in, one falls out the other side.  Every single time I try to fix her crating/kenneling issue, she finds one more way out.  After getting a plastic carrier, I am hopeful that it will be the equivalent of a pair of sweat pants for an old guy.

I’ve learned that “shit happens”… eventually.  Just sometimes eventually is after hours of walking, praying and pleading.  Sometimes, “eventually” comes at midnight, after you have been roaming around the neighborhood in an Ambien induced haze.  The plus about the Ambien is that you really don’t realize that you’ve been outside for 2 hours.  The down-side is that you tend to stumble over leashes easily and fall face first into mounds of poo.

I have built a tolerance of cold… sorta.  I like to bitch and moan about going outside but once I am out there, I tend to do okay.  Now when I return, that’s a whole other story.  I shake like I have Parkinson’s.  The plus side: I can give one hell of a hand job.

I learned that it is possible to take a dookie INSIDE of a humidifier.  Yeah, I was puzzled at first.  Imagine my shock when I got home and found that the dog had climbed up on the humidifier and took a giant poop, right on top of it.  How she managed it, is beyond me.  I know I couldn’t crap with hot steam blowing up my bum.  So, watch out for humidifiers!  Apparently, they are doggie bidets.

I was taught to pay a little more attention when I am putting together a wire crate.  There is a latch to hold the bottom tray in for a reason.  Neglecting to catch that caused me to come home to a poop masterpiece.  Heidi had pushed the bottom tray out, took a crap and then proceeded to slide the tray back and forth over it.  When I went home for lunch I found that mess and brown paw prints on the wall.  Not a good start to the afternoon.  Plus side:  I know what to use to stamp cute paw prints on letters for my bill collectors.

I learned that I should be more careful when walking on spots where carpet once was.  It seems that there are nice wooden strips covered in nails which hold your carpet and pad into place.  I guess when something eats the carpet and pad, all that is left is those nice strips.  The down-side: it hurts like a mo’ fo’ to step on them.  The plus side: my foot is really well exfoliated.

I learned that it’s best to avoid a flying dog that is trying to play with you, even if you think they are just a big, harmless pooch.  With what I equate to the skills of a ninja assassin, Heidi lunged at me and sliced my leg open.  Plus side: I hated those pants anyway.

Most of all, I’ve learned that those things in life that we think we can’t overcome can actually be beaten.  Even if the odds are stacked against you, with a little encouragement, you can beat anything.

I know I will be adding more to this… but for right now, this is surely enough to get you to thinking!

I had a long day today and I am still fighting very hard to keep a mom and her 9 babies alive.  Watching them, sometimes I question the decision I made to save their life.  I didn’t do any of this to watch them suffer.  I did this to watch them thrive and for them to prove the world wrong.  Maybe the only thing getting proved wrong here is me.  Again, I freaked out and I led the charge with my heart and probably didn’t think any of this through.  Okay, I didn’t think any of this through… but sometimes, can’t we just pretend that we can change the world?  Isn’t okay to sometimes have faith in yourself and your beliefs?  Well, I’m not planning on being given this one.  I’ve fought hard for it and in the end, I’ll know I did.

I sit here watching my cell phone and waiting for that call that I feel in my heart is going to happen at least once in the next few days.  My eyes well up at the thought of it and my heart aches.  I’ve had a bad feeling all day and for my entire life, I’ve had this special intuition.  Many times in my life, I’ve been able to feel that something is going to happen.  Yup, I’m loony but you all know that by now.  I think of those 9 little babies, those 7 girls and 3 boys, and my dinner comes up in my mouth.  I swallow it back down and start to cry again.  I pray to God and any other forces out there that they protect Heidi and her pups from death.  I ask for more time, just so the world can learn a lesson from all of this.  Not the lesson of saving dogs or what happens in shelters, I’ve tried to teach those but no one ever listens.  But, I want to teach the world to not give up, even when everything is against you.  I want people to know that it’s okay to fight for something you believe in, whether that is yourself or someone or something else.  I really want to win this one but I guess, I always want to win them all.

I look within myself and I ask if things don’t go as I planned, will I blame myself?  A faint answer from in my heart says, “Yes.”  My mind tries to tell me that it’s wrong to blame yourself for something like that, for having faith, but I am still struggling.

So, tonight I look up at the night sky and I hope I don’t spot a new star shining brightly.  I know that’s terrible but sometimes, we need those stars to shine from here on Earth.  Please, just give me this one…

I don’t know how they do it, I don’t know how they do it.  Today I  helped save a dog from being put to sleep.  Well, what’s so special about this dog?  Why is she any different from any of the others that are saved every day?  She’s special because she is a mother of 9.

When I heard that she was going to be euthanized, I jumped all over it.  My heart ran with it and my mind and common sense was left behind.  This isn’t new to me, I mean, I am who I am.  There is nothing about me that says “emotionally sound”.  I probably do all that I do because I don’t allow myself to think.  If I get an idea in my heart, I am off and running and I am in 110%.  I just couldn’t let something happen to this mom and her little babies.  After sitting back and watching everyone else and waiting for the big move to be made, I saw that the move just wasn’t happening.  I guess most of my friends are smarter than I am.

This morning, I called my vet and I explained the situation and the fact that the momma was ill and she had young puppies depending on her to stay alive.  I asked if they would be willing to let me board her there until I found a solution and despite everything, they agreed.  I truly have the best vet in the entire world.  Around 1:00 today, I named the mom “Heidi” and she made her way to the vets thanks to a great rescue group called Unleashed.  My friend Danielle stepped up to the plate and hit it out of the park and I’m totally thankful.  Without a willing rescue to pull her, she would have died.  Danielle got her to the vets and Heidi has been there ever since.

On my way home I stopped in to check on her.  I really didn’t think they would take me to isolation to see her but they were all over it.  When I dropped in unexpectedly, a team formed around me and started giving me updates and then they started to urge me to follow them.  We went through countless doors, down halls and stairwells, through more doors and finally arrived at one final door.  What was waiting behind that door left me teary eyed and feeling empty inside.

The vet tech squatted down to the bottom cage and opened up both double doors.  I asked her if that was a good idea since I found out AFTER the fact that the shelter believed her to be feral.  She looked at me kind of funny and told me that she wasn’t feral, just a scared and sick mom.  Before I could blink, the tech’s hand was inside the cage and was stroking Heidi and her babies.  At one point, she even picked up one of the babies from under Heidi’s tail!  Never did Heidi make a move or a sound.  I felt kind of like an idiot at that point.

I forced my eyes to focus in on Heidi and allowed my mind to understand what was really happening.  The moment I felt it, I was moved to tears.  I reached my own hand out to stroke Heidi’s leg as I spoke to her and told her how sorry I was that she was so ill.  Her breathing was labored and occasionally her mouth would open slightly as she would gasp for more air.  My fingers began to tremble and my arm began to shake as I touched every puppy I could reach.  With tears flowing, I tried to be positive and I silently vowed to each puppy that I would love them.  One puppy stopped nursing and drug itself towards me and the open cage.  It appeared that the puppy sat up and then he opened his eyes and looked right at me.  I didn’t even know their eyes were open!  I started checking all of the puppies and saw no others with open eyes!  Those two cloudy blue-grey eyes bore into my soul and I swear I could feel that pup whispering back to me.

I thanked all of the techs and walked out to my car.  Once I had it started, I broke down completely.  Was I already giving up?  Did I already give them all a death sentence?  How in the HELL am I going to cope with this if I do lose them?  Of course, I was met with silence.  There currently are no answers so all I must have is hope and understanding.

I don’t know how they do it, I don’t know how they do it.  How do rescues ever know when to back up and say, “There is nothing I can do.”  When do they get smart and avoid situations that could have a terrible result?  And most of all, how can they make their heart stop hurting so much?  Does it ever go away completely or do they just carry lots of  little dog  and cat hairs on their sleeve for an eternity?  Do you become immune?  Can you just shut it all off?  I guess I’m not at that point (and doubt I ever will be).  If all that remains is a stray dog hair here and there, I’ll proudly wear it in remembrance.

**********************************************************************************************************

For updates on Heidi and the pups, please read the comments section.  I will be updating at least twice a day.

What is animal rescue?  Well, if I had to sum it up in one word it would likely be “crazy”.  How so, you ask?  Well, you would have to understand a day in the life of someone involved in it.  Within the period of 24 hours, we save lives and we lose lives.  We advocate and we educate.  We fight and sometimes, we choose to wallow in self pity and misery.  Every second of every day we are faced with “life and death” issues for animals who can’t speak for themselves.  And it’s a damn good thing they can’t talk because the world could not handle what they would have to say.

How many of you could look hear the stories of how someone wants to relinquish their animal because they had a baby or they got their period?  Okay, I have never had the period excuse but when I am constantly bombarded with requests and notes of incompetence, my mind shuts down and all I hear is “la la la la”.  Life changes for all of us, you aren’t special.  Suck it up, Buttercup.  My dog Bowser has been with me since I found him in a truck stop parking lot.  He’s been through more than 5 moves (with one being out-of-state), he’s survived a severe car accident, he’s been on Prozac (which is NOT cheap) and medication that they give the astronauts for sickness.  He’s had 2 major surgeries in the past 2 years and one time became so ill with pneumonia that he nearly died.  Do you think those vet bills were cheap?  Nope!  The bastard has chewed up at least 15 mini-blinds in the past 5 years, eaten our mattress (twice) and once, he even remodeled my entire bedroom.  You think your dog has issues?  Try having one that in one night with a babysitter, he eats your bed, your blanket, both sheets, 4 pillows, he rips clothes out of your closet and eats them, chews a hole in the carpet, scratches your bedroom door AND chews off ALL of the trim around your door.  My dog could have had a hell of a housewarming party the next day when all of that came back out.  And don’t even get me started on all of the other stuff he has done in the span of 11 years.

So , why keep a dog after all of that?  Well, when he wasn’t costing me thousands and thousands of dollars, he was catching my tears after I miscarried 3 babies.  When he wasn’t digging holes in the backyard he was protecting my oldest son from being hit by a bully.  When he wasn’t too occupied with tearing up everything in the house, he was taking the time to hand my infant child a toy that he had dropped off of his Exersaucer.  When he isn’t being a Pitbull and eating my children or other people, he’s the center of attention and making sure everyone in the house gets to pet him.  The reason why I keep him is that he is family and my very best friend.  While he’s caused a lot of crap in my life, he’s also stood right next to me and my children and helped us get through this thing called life.

So, back to animal rescue,  when you decide that you’ve had enough of your pet and you just can’t “deal” with them, do you have any clue what happens to them?  Well, thankfully these things called angels were created to clean up your messes.  These angels are here on Earth, covered in dog and cat hair, smelling like critter and fixing your problems.  They have no life, no money and are possibly certifiably crazy.  Their phone bills are huge and their vet bills are larger.  They spend the day trying to save those animals you toss aside so carelessly.  Every day they are given opportunities to help a life and are taxed with the pain of not being able to save them.  The physical and emotional pain that these angels endure, day in and day out, is not something that you could handle.  Who are these angels?  Well, they are every day people who do extraordinary things.  When you don’t care enough to care for your animal, these people are the one’s who step in.  They whisper words of love in your former pet’s ear.  The angels tell them all those things that you once told them and then the angels watch them die because you failed them.

Know that your life always has options.  If something in your life changes, know that it changes for your pet, too.  If you reach out for help with a problem, you can save your animal’s life.  There are pet food pantries, animal rescue groups and countless other resources out there.  Please don’t give up on them.

Once I got safely off the road, it only took a few “kitty-kitty’s” before I was met with those yellow eyes and that now very firm “meow”.  The cat looked in pretty great shape so I thought that I was just messing with someone’s cat that was outside for the day.  I was sitting at the side of the road petting the cat and trying to silently convince myself of what I was going to do while my not-so-silent 7-year-old is in the back seat already thinking of names for the cat.  ”Paris, you know dad won’t let you have a cat.”  ”No, but you want to take care of it.  We could hide it in our room.”  I’m still sitting at the side of the road loving this meowing little beast while I try to figure out what I’m going to do.  I reached in my car and I pulled out a bag of dog treats just to see if it was hungry.  He was!  He was trying really hard to eat so I knew I needed to get him some help.

Since it was nice outside, I drove all around the school and to all the houses and streets around it.  I was asking everyone I saw if they noticed the cat and they all said no.  I called Larry and told him that I wouldn’t be home for a while because of this cat and he only said, “It’s not coming here.”

I decided to just pick a street and grab the cat and go door to door.  I skipped a few houses that looked empty and went to a house that seemed to call out to me.  I knocked and when the man opened the door, I asked him if he recognized the cat and he said, “I think I do.”  Since he said nothing else, I said, “Can you tell me what house he lives at”"  The man looked at me and said, I think he lives here,  I think this is my cat Lincoln who’s been missing since August.”  ”Do you mind if I hold him a second?”  I handed him over and watched him carefully turn the cat onto it’s back to find a white spot on his belly.  He ruffled the hair there and sat the cat down shaking his head as he did so.  I looked down and the cat was already gone, off exploring the house.  The man looked at me, still in shock and was explaining how his cat disappeared in August while he was in Las Vegas.  He said that he’d looked for Lincoln for many months and never found a trace of him so he was just to the point of getting a new cat.  I heard how he fell in love with the little furball when he got him from a Wal-Mart parking lot.  The man thanked me over and over and I was still apprehensive over how all of this happened.  What are the odds?  Lincoln was sitting only 1 block from his home?  Did he know he was close?  Is that why he was sitting there meowing?

I walked back to my car and was greeted by the biggest smiles ever from my boys.  Paris said, “This is why you can’t ever give up, Mom.  You saved their life.”  Granted, my child thinks having your pet saves your life and you know, maybe he’s right.

I don’t know why that cat was put in my path and why things worked out the way they did.  In the end, it all comes down to the fact that if you lose your pet you can’t ever give up in the hope of still finding them, no matter how long they’ve been gone.  Our animals are linked to us for a lifetime.  Sometimes, they lose their way but if given the chance, they always can find it back.

It was clearly known that I had a special event at the shelter today and it was very important that I get there in time for the ribbon cutting.  The boys knew I was going and they had been hounding me all morning about when they should get ready to go.  I walked into their room and I explained to them that I just couldn’t handle 2 small kids at an event like this because they could get hurt.  Paris, who is the avid animal rescuer of the kids, begins crying on his bed.  Bristol (his 6-year-old brother) looked up at me and said, “Mom, you have to let him go.  It’s important to him.  I will stay here so he can get to go with you.”  Bristol then looked up at me with those beautiful smiling eyes and said, “Take him please.”  I thought that both boys had wanted to go so I asked Bristol, “Do you not want to go?”  Bristol said that he did want to go very bad but that it was okay if he couldn’t go so Paris could.  I could feel those tears welling up in my eyes and I grabbed Bristol and let the tears spill onto the top of his little head.  I pulled away and told him how very proud I was of him and that because of what he said, I would most definitely take Paris and bring him back a very special surprise for his kindness.  Paris got up off his bed and wiped his own tears with Bristol’s blanket and pulled his brother in for a hug.  He then told Bristol that he was his best friend and the best brother ever and that he loved him “more than anything”.

While Paris got ready to go, Bristol acted excited for him and talked about all of the fun that Paris would have.  With every passing moment, I became more and more proud of these 2 little boys that I raised.  Me, I did this!  While they are a HUGE pain in the ass a lot of times, in one instant they showed me that I’ve taught them a little more than how to have a gutter mind and make inappropriate jokes.  I taught them 2 of the best qualities a human could have, sacrifice and compassion.  And while I don’t see if very often from them, it’s nice to know it’s there.

Paris and I loaded up and during the entire drive there he was so excited.  I, of course, was a little worried.  Paris has A.D.D. written all over him and he can be one place and another in an instant.  I was concerned as to how much help I could be at the big event when I had a monster with me.  I also was afraid that they wouldn’t let me help because I had him with me.  While we drove, we went over the rules and animal rescue 101.

KC Pet Project greeted Paris with open arms and assigned us the job of making sure that kennel arousal was low during the chaos that would soon ensue.  There could have been no better job for my little man.  He was raring to go and grabbed his cup, filled it with dog food and set about his task.  For 4 hours Paris walked up and down the shelter, kennel by kennel, row by row, throwing in kibbles and telling each dog that everything would be okay.  His voice was calm as he would go past the noisiest of the dogs and reassure them that it was alright.  I would see how the dogs would react to this small little creature and each and every one would stop and listen to him.  They immediately sensed the good in him and it made me feel amazing.  Paris took one break in 4 hours and that was long enough for him to grab a bag of chips and down it while he sat on the bench in front of the shelter.  Once he was done, he was back at it again.

When it was time to go (because I was beat), I had to drag the kid out of the place.  In those 4 hours, I never heard a complaint.  He was the most perfect child in all the world.  His damn Nintendo DS doesn’t keep him that content!  Paris has a gift and a love for animals that is deep and strong.  He has no fear and is full of understanding of them.  Paris walked each and every row and told the dogs “good-bye” with a wave and a whisper.  One particular dog named Biscuit, got what seemed like a thousand “good-bye’s”.  I guess, I will need to work on getting that one out of there.  KC Pet Project, if you are reading this, let me know.  Anybody out there that wants to give my child an incredible gift, there is a dog out there that needs saved.

As we drove away from the shelter, I told Paris that I was exhausted.  I said, “I bet you’re tired, too.”  He looked at me in the rear view mirror with a twinkle in his eye and said, “You wish.”