Signs That You May Be In Animal Rescue

  1. If you have at any point had in your possession more than 20 dogs.
  2. If you have kept 19 of the dogs that you “rescued”.
  3. If all of your pets have ghastly stories where you are the hero.
  4. If your dog’s house is cleaner than yours.
  5. If your Facebook is overrun with posts about dogs and cats that need homes.
  6. If you coerce, threaten, bribe and blackmail friends and family into adopting or fostering.
  7. If you see a dog standing in a front yard and you have the sudden urge to run and grab him because you think he is lost and should be supervised.
  8. If you can’t bring yourself to take a dog to a pound or shelter, no matter the costs.
  9. If you refuse to learn names of animal shelter residents, just so you don’t become too attached and try to bring them home.
  10. If on more then one occasion you have taken a huge purse with you on your volunteer days and thought about smuggling dogs out of the shelter.
  11. If while on walks with shelter dogs you sometimes think of faking a seizure so that one critical dog could run far, far away.
  12. If you’ve ever slid down a hill from stepping in dog poop.
  13. If you’ve ever had raw and scarred wrists from leashes wrapped around them.
  14. If you’ve ever had a shoulder dislocated by a Mastiff.
  15. If the trunk of your car holds a collapsible cage, a leash and pet food bags.
  16. If you would wreck your car to avoid hitting a frog.
  17. If you shed a tear after passing roadkill.
  18. If the cats at the shelter crowd around because you smell fishy from lack of time to shower properly.
  19. If your pet makes it to the high priced groomer but you cut your own hair by holding your head upside down in the bathroom sink.
  20. If your email account has ever maxed out or reached it’s limit.
  21. If you can not hear Sarah McLachlan without crying and picturing faces behind bars.
  22. If you laugh when your dog farts but throw a couch pillow at your significant other when they do it.
  23. If you have more photos of your dogs than you do of yourself.
  24. If you’ve ever named a pet after a person you know, simply because you have run out of other names.
  25. If your dog or cat has their own piece of furniture in the house.  Bonus points if they have claimed two.
  26. If you’ve never bothered to buy a dog bed for your dog because they shouldn’t have to sleep in one when you have a perfectly good bed.
  27. If your dog or cat has enough name tags and collars that they could change them to coordinate with the days.
  28. If you know what the Rainbow Bridge is.
  29. If you coordinate your home furnishings with your pet’s hair color.
  30. If you’ve ever purchased dog treats in bulk.
  31. If you’ve ever attempted to make homemade chicken jerky for the shelter pets because you want them to have a home cooked meal.
  32. If you’ve ever epically failed at making dog treats and had to throw away the ones that you made and buy some from the store.
  33. If your wallet is empty but your heart is full.
  34. If when purchasing a vehicle you do not consider MPG, price or family size but you are interested in the kennel/crate to space ratio.
  35. If you’ve ever driven on a highway with a death row dog on your shoulder like a parrot.
  36. If you have sat through 35 previous reasons why you may be in animal rescue.
  37. If you are still reading and recognize more then 36 of these signs as one of your ailments.
  38. If at this point you make a frowny face and you Google your nearest psychiatrist.
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Posted on April 12, 2011, in Posts. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. You left out the one about choosing a spouse from watching which suitors were the best dog wrestlers and dog kissers on your living room floor.

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