When the World Fights You

As someone who has suffered abuse in the past, I am always one of the first people who will step in and advocate for the abused.  While it’s hard for some to understand the thinking process of someone who suffers from abuse, if you have been there, you know all too much just how it affects your life permanently.  When I was about 16, I had to have part of my face reconstructed, all thanks to my step-dad.  While I would like to say that is all that I had to deal with, it’s not.  Possibly not even the worst thing that ever happened.  Surgeons can do amazing things to reconstruct the body but there is nothing that can ever change the past or the lasting memories it leaves behind.

A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine shared a story about someone who is currently struggling due to an abusive relationship and a “bad hand” dealt out by the world.  After hearing her story, I was compelled to try to do something to help.  While I must do all that I can to protect her identity; to help make her future better, I must share some of her past.  For the sake of her safety and pride, I will give her an anonymous identity and shall deem her “Chi-Chi”.  You’ll know why here soon.

Chi-Chi was running a successful business with her fiance’ and to an outsider, Chi-Chi’s world seemed perfect.  Unfortunately, the facade of “the perfect life” began to crumble and Chi-Chi realized that she could no longer lie to herself.  The abuse she was dealing with was destroying her body, her mind and her soul.  Sacrificing everything, Chi-Chi left home on a whim, with only the clothes on her back and her 3 senior Chihuahuas (now you know why I picked the name).  She ran as fast as she could, as quietly and unnoticeably as possible.

Chi-Chi set out to make a new life and she quickly got a job in advertising and she started to settle in to a calmer and happier time.  Finally, life was turning around and again, Chi-Chi began to make a name and a life for herself.  Then out of left field, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Chi-Chi underwent a double mastectomy and when her health allows it, Chi-Chi works from home for a nominal amount of money.  Because of the strength of her medications, which include pain killers, Chi-Chi doesn’t work frequently enough to cover her cost of living or her medical requirements.  As each day passes, Chi-Chi postpones her doctor’s appointments and chemotherapy because she just doesn’t make enough to care for herself and her three dogs.  With her rent 5 months behind and growing, Chi-Chi doesn’t know where to turn.  While her landlord is trying to work with her, she wonders just how long it will last.

Many people would be bitter and resentful if they dealt with what Chi-Chi has but instead of ask “Why me”, Chi-Chi wakes each day with a smile on her face, an armful of hugs to hand out and a positive attitude, of which I am very jealous.  She never complains and never asks for help.

It’s in those moments of life where I think that certain people cross our path for a reason.  To go through each day and ignore what is presented before us is ignorant.  Life’s a lesson, whether for ourselves or for another.  Sometimes we are here to listen, to learn and to be healed and other times we are the teacher or the healer.  It’s my turn to heal, myself and Chi-Chi.

A ChipIn has been created to assist Chi-Chi with “everyday” expenses and to help her catch up with her rent.  While I do not personally manage this ChipIn, I do completely trust who is.  You can find the link by clicking here.  If you aren’t comfortable donating money, we are also collecting items.  Below is just a small sample of some of the things needed to help her.

  • household and personal items
  • gas cards or gift cards
  • flea treatment for small-breed dogs (3 dogs)
  • generic Rimadyl for the male Chihuahua
  • “Wellness”Vegetarian dog food for the 2 female dogs
  • grain-free dog food for the male dog
  • fruits and vegetables (she prefers a mostly “Vegan” diet and will not eat red meat or pork)
  • food/pantry items

Items will be collected throughout the Kansas City area.  If you think you may be able to help Chi-Chi in other ways, please email me at darathrene@gmail.com and let me know what you can do.  She is residing in the Kansas City, Missouri area.  We are open to any suggestions or recommendations.  If you’d like to send her a card, let me know and we can collect them and deliver them with any other items donated.

Thank you!



Posted on September 28, 2012, in Posts and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Thank you so much for all your kind words… My friend is an amazing person and deserves the best… She and I like to talk every day and vent but she always ends with “life is good”!! My hero:)

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