My Knight in Shining Armor Returns
Two days ago, my knight in shining armor rode back into my life via a crappy, rented horse trailer. It’s hard to picture a hero riding in via a rusty, old trailer but that’s just what happened, believe it or not. It was at that moment, my life changed again.
It’d been 7 years since my hand touched the warm muzzle of a special black Arabian stallion and it had been 15 years since I had lost him (view the story by clicking here). When I found out that he would be entering my life again after all of this time, I couldn’t believe it was happening. Actually, I didn’t believe it until he was standing in the stall staring back at me. I couldn’t sleep, I could barely eat and I definitely couldn’t shut up about him. But, it wasn’t until my hand touched his warm muzzle again that I truly believed that it really did happen. My best friend, my savior, my love, was back.
When I first laid eyes on him again, it was very difficult. No matter how many times I played it out, I never thought that I would be hit with so much emotion. I knew it would be hard but I didn’t really comprehend just how hard. My heart and my memory pictured a beautiful blue-black horse that was fat, happy and healthy. What met me on Saturday was an old, greying, broken-down horse that appeared to be clinging to his last days on Earth. Where fat once was abundant, sharp bones protruded. Where large black eyes once looked back at me, a lifeless, hazy eye fought a battle with mucus. His face had lost large areas of pigment and instead of being solid black, it was now a grey and white spotted mess. If it hadn’t have been for the marking on his leg and the small spot on his forehead, I wouldn’t have recognized him. That realization was devastating. My best friend was old and wasn’t long for the world.
I haltered Knight and led him to the trailer, feeling joy and great sadness simultaneously. I felt happy to be leading my best friend to the horse trailer that would bring him back into my life. I felt sad for the owner that would be losing him after all of these years. He’d owned him for 15 years and I know that he loved him very much. I felt sadness for the old horse that limped behind me and I longed for the days when I had to tell him “easy” as we walked somewhere. Knight loaded up like a dream and we bid farewell to his owner.
He’s been with me for two days now. I know that he remembers me and he proves it by banging his door when he hears me talking. As I enter the stall, with halter in hand, he comes over to me and gets anxious for me to take him outside to eat grass. If I don’t move fast enough, he nudges his stall door with his nose saying, “Hey pal, let’s go!”. We walk through the pasture, side by side, best friends reunited.
Sometimes, we pause there in the field and we look over at each other. It seems like we are both in as much disbelief as the other. I reach my hand over to push over the mane that had always tried to part on the wrong side. My fingers touch the disobedient strands and Knight puts his head back down to eat the grass under him. Our moment passes and we both are comforted in knowing that we are right there together. Even though our bodies were apart for all of this time, I think our souls stayed entwined together.
People have said that I’m “admirable” or an “angel” for bringing Knight back home with me after all of this time, especially considering his health. I’m no hero. I’m simply a girl trying to repay a horse that saved her life countless times. With him around, I was able to fight through all of life’s struggles. It was because of him that I woke up each day. It was because of him that I stayed away from drugs. He was also the reason I laid down the pistol that would end my suffering. In the back of my mind, I thought that if I took my life, I wouldn’t end up in heaven where I knew my angel would be when he left the world. To say that he saved me is an understatement.
For whatever time that we may have remaining, we will find comfort in each other. We will walk through the field of grass, lit by the falling sun. Together we will fight, just as we’ve always done. Our remaining moments may not be substantial in the way that a clock ticks or in the way that one day is replaced by another. Our remaining moments aren’t for right now. They will last an eternity.